you'll never see me cry

Monday, November 26, 2007

This post goes out to my one of my fave & dearest clown.

I’m so sorry I culdnt make it last Saturday.
It’s not that I didn’t want to come.
i already planned to come la. asked permission on mon all.
Till thur, I was like so confirmed that I was coming.
Even asked fazee bout e outing & all.
Den on fri, mum told me had family gathering & I culdnt go far.
As far as downtown east.

I was sad, scared & disappointed.
I really wanted to go, clown.
Believe me. Cumon la.
How many times I ask u bout e outing.
U think I didn’t want to go ????
so I didn’t know how to handle e situation when u called.
I was very sad when u hanged up on me.
I understand ur disappointment.
I understand ur anger.
I understand why u’re ignoring me.
I don’t blame u for it.

But do try to understand my situation.
U noe my mother. How cn I go against her wishes.
I had to spend my whole day with my cousins.
Chandini was there, & she knew hw upset I was bout not gg.
Hais. seriously.
I didn’t dare call u after that.
I was afraid to hear ur reaction.
U’re one person I’m always afraid of hurting.
Cause you mean a lot to me.
&& u know that very well.
U know very well how affected I get when u ignore me or get angry with me.
It drives me crazy.

Clown, please talk to me.
Confront me at least. Scold me?
Anything but giving me the COLD SHOULDER.
It’s too hard to bear.
U cant leave me here in sg & go to dubai w/o talking to me !
That’s just torture.
Just thinking of the fact that u’re angry is driving me nuts at this moment.

U’re a great fren clown.
&& I am repeating this for e millionth time, I really don’t wana lose u.
A great listening ear.
Someone hu knows me inside out.
Someone hu understands me, wo me saying a word.
A mind-reader.
Someone hu I just love talking hrs on e fone with.
Someone hu made an impact in my life.
Someone hu makes me smile oh-so easily.
Someone I’m gona miss soooo much next yr.
Someone I love dearly&purely&sincerely. My dearest clown =(

&& thanks fazee. For introducing this clown to me.
Take care of him. I noe u will .love ya both.

Hais =(
Just wish we culd talk like normal.
I miss u clown.
It’s been 3 days.

{ 9:56 AM }

now it’s my turn to be ms.moody . whatever.

weekend was fun.

saturday went to yuan ching secondary .
open hse. To support Lithia. She performed a short skit frm Macbeth.
Proud of her. Yupps.
Went with my cousins & chan.
Too bad , there were no interesting sec4 guys to look at.
Oh well.
After that , we all headed bck to parc vista.
Played pool.
Den spent time with chan talking crap. Yupp.
Fun as usual. Standard.
At night , went to kavin hse.
Was fun la. cousins & all. Joelynn came too.
Came bck at 4am only. No parents at home.
Used com all e way till 5plus.

Woke up next morning only at 12.30.
Awaken by a phonecall.
Had lunch with dad&bro.
Sanjeev came at 3 plus to eat.
Hanged out till dinner. chan came at 5 plus & left
Ate at mac.
Came bck. Chan came over again.
We watched movie on e com. Hanged out.
Chan left. Sanjeev left.
Was online till 1 plus.
Was tired, read bk & slept.

Culdnt sleep properly though.
So many phonecalls in btwn, frm 5 am onwards.
Gave up at 11.
Chan came over. Hanged out.
Fun as usual. I love her. Ntin can change tt fact.
Den fetched mother frm airport.
Missed her. Yupps. Love her.
Ate at boon lay. How interesting.
Came back & came online.

I’ll admit. I’m pissed.
U lied. i dunno la. whatever excuse u’re gona give , I duno.
To me, u lied. proves hu I am to you.
No important. Whatever.
Wonder wat I was expecting frm an idiot like u anw.
Whatever.

As much as I expected such an ending for u clown , I didnt think he wuld be that pathetic.
That fucked up.
He gives guys all over e world a new meaning.
Actually no, he’s just confirming the fact that guys are screwed up.
Wonder when they are gona grow up & get serious.
Probably never. Whatever.
No hard feelings guys. just saying what came to my mind.

I dunno what I want in my life.
I dunno what I’m expecting.
Damn.
I’m happy with my life as much as I’m not.
Makes sense ? whatever.

{ 8:50 AM }

Friday, November 23, 2007

hahas. wat a day.
woke up thinking I was late to meet him.
but he woke up later den me anw. wth. hahas.
watched e dvd he lent me. Om santhi om. .nice movie.

went to play pool with my cousins. At parc vista.
Yes, it’s free. hahas .fun la.
Standard. Kavin,yuresh & sanjeev.
Then , quickly showered to meet him to return e dvd.
& den rushed back hm to get ready to watch movie.
hahas. enchanted. Funny movie.
I enjoyed myself with my cousins today.

Cant wait for tml too.
Gg yuan ching open hse. For dunno wat reason.
There’s a family gathering at kavin’s hse tml. In e evening.
I dunoo how I’m gg to spend my afternoon.
My mum’s leaving for macau tml. Will be back on mon.
I’ll miss her. Hahas.

I miss my bitch a lot.
It’s been two days. That’s longgggg .
=( nvm, i’ll see her tml den.
Cant wait. Hahas. I love u clown.

&& I miss u idiot. Seeing u twice 2dae wasn’t enough.

{ 8:55 AM }

Thursday, November 22, 2007

hahas. wat an eventful two days.

watched American pie , American pie 2 & American pie : band camp on wed.
with my dearest chan of course.
any time spent with her is always fun. && I love her.
hahas. always there for me. =)

so anwww , we had a great time la.
clowin arnd & talking crap & practically anything under e sun.
ehh , I really gona miss her if we’re gona go our separate ways.
okok. Shant talk about that. Sensitive topic.
hahas.
made pasta ALONE ! thx to some ppl. clown seh.
take one hr to eat. wth la. seriously.
hahas. whatever. I still love my slow bitch. hehe.
Online till 2am . haha. Found my twin.
It’s interesting hw I’m connected to her. Very. hahas.
CRAZY INC . hahas. funny seh.

Today woken up by some clown at 11.
Gt reminded that today was my bro’s psle results.
Decided to go & give him my moral support.
Yeah. Culd sense tt he was really nervous.
But I was glad that I was beside him when he received his results.
246. damn proud of him. Actually hugged him. Hmms.
Okies. no matter wat happenes btwn us. I guess. I stil love my brother.
Yeahh. I cried. Yes. I was really happy & proud of him.
He deserved e results. Although he culd hve done beta.
Yupp yupp. Went to my aunt’s hse.
Den to temple .i was kinda glad I did.
Prayed for stuff. Yupps.
Den went to buy dinner & headed to cuz’s hse.
Came bck hm after tt & here I am.
So yeahh. Interesting day ehh . hahas.
Ooh yeahh . I miss my clown. & my bitch. =)

sha’s comin over tml. Yippee ! lols. miss her.
Till tml den …

{ 8:22 AM }

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Okies. it has been way too long.
seriously. months have passed.
so many things have happened.
A chapter of my life, over.

Oh well. i’m not gg to bother to summarise all e incidents.
I’ll just start from the o’level exams.

The truth is, I think I put in more effort during the prelims then e o’s.
That aint good news. but surprisingly enough, e O’level papers were much
more manageable compared to the prelims.
So yeah, I’ll take that as a good sign.
Praying for e best. I got to at least make it to a JC.
Or I’m screwed. I have no idea wat course to take in poly.

The break b4 e last 3 papers was fun.
Deepavali was more exciting this year.
& e 4e indians went deepavali visiting.
Needless to say, it was fun with e bunch of them, like always.
My cousin’s 21st birthday party was also fun.
With loads of pictures taken. hahas.
We cant get enough of e cam. Poor cam.

Phy&chem paper 1s were alright.
Majority of our batch had finished their papers on that day.
But e unfortunate ones like us went home with a sulky face to study for bio.
I culdnt sleep that night. Vomited 3 times at night.
I went to sch feeling faint.
I finished e bio paper within ½ an hr & slept for e rest of e paper.
It was bad. I had never felt that weak b4.
I went home in a cab. yes. a cab !
hahas. but I still went to town for prom shopping.
Yeah I noe I’m one stubborn girl.
I rushed home soon after that though. Did not hve any energy.
Went to temple. & den to the clinic , where I was given a jab.

But it worked. E next morning I was feeling fresher den ever.
Prom day ! LOL. I was excited but yet was not.
Weird feeling. Fazee & chan came over to dress up.
Aisyah came & we left for raffles town club.
Prom was fun. Everyone looked good.
Loads of pictures were taken. & I mean a lot !
After that , scrolled arnd town awhile den headed bck home.

Next day, chalet day !
Met up wif hui xian & shao yan to go to pasir ris.
Our chalet was kinda cool. & I was happy to see majority of e class present.
E bbq was fun. Talking & stuff with mr quek.
Spent the whole morning with e indians.
That was probably e highlight of the chalet.
It was fun la. Hahas.
Next day was spent slacking around. I was too tired to stay over e 2nd night.
So I left with e e4 ppl & went home . . . .

&&& to my surprise. My fave cuz had came over to stay !
It really made my day. Hahas.
We chatted & talked & I finally gave up & ended up sleepin.
He , on the other hand , was bz on e fone. Hmms. Hahas.
We went to watch GAMEPLAN the next day. Nice movie.

Sunday was spent mostly slacking in front of the tv.
I went to e library with chandini . hahas.
Not to study ! to borrow books. yes.
I love reading.
Headed to my aunty’s hse. Chatted with her till midnight.
Missed her & her tea =)

Hahas. Monday !
2E2 chalet day . met up with chan to eat lunch 1st.
Then proceeded 2 pasir ris with e e2 gang.
E2 chalet is always fun. Cos it’s just e2 la.
No matter what , my class is just so close.
Crapping around . clowing arnd.
sorry la. I just love them.
E food was great oso. =)
I want 2 thank naiimah & sq for makin it happen.
Hahas. I enjoyed rentin dvd wif sq oso.
Funny day . =)
I LOVE 2E2’05 =)

So yeah. I have not been home for e whole week.
Till today.
I just slacked in front of e tv.
Talked on e fone. Sms.
Use e com.
Yupp =)

Tml chan’s comin over. Woohoo.
Love her =)
Cant wait.

this 4 yrs of my life can never be forgotten.
I love all u guys . my life wuld be empty w/o u ppl =)

{ 6:38 AM }