=)

i'm glad that this is over.
seriously.
i dnt have to waste my time waiting fr you.
cos i deserve better.
u're just a coward. trust me.
i didnt see tht coming.

you're stubborn & self-centred.
i knew tht. but never knew i wuld be affected by it.
haha. your words. hahaha.
hurt me so bad. u didnt realise.
u threatened me ? hahaa.
damn. i cnt believe u actually did tht.

it's not tht u dnt love me. you cnt ?
hahahahaha.
& u say i make u feel tht it's your fault.
well, hu else den ? * raises eyebrows*
but e moment i realised i didnt cry , i knew it.
i knew i was over you.
that i culd never trust or love u e way i did.
=)

you dnt even hve e freaking guts to TALK to me.
you're just afraid u cnt answer my qns.
& u hve no rights to get angry with my frenster msgs.
hahaha.

well people.
glad to let u noe tht i'm much happier
& my mind has cleareddd.
this is e last time u're gonna see me sad bout him.
cos he doesnt deserve me.
atleast i noe e past 7mths were real.
& i'll live with tht memories.

i so need to change my blog song.
too emo.
hahahah.

bye ppl. { 12:00 AM }

{ 8:23 AM }

CLASS CHALET was engaging enough.
managed to take my mind off stuff. for awhile atleast.
LOL.

1st day
met lingling & pam at jurong 1st.
needed to return VCDs.
met mel at lakeside.
took train to pasir ris.bought BBQ stuff.
waited fr e rest.
went aloha loyang. OMG.
we gt e GARDEN TERRACE!
so freakin dirty&small fr e price man!
damnnn. cleaned e place uppp.

ate STEAMBOAT in e chalet.
haha. interesting experience.
the food was good man! gd job gurls.
went to CHANGI airport. cos stella wanted to meet her fren.
but we ended up wanderin arnd ourselves & taking picx =D
my clique plus agnes&shannon went to downtown east.
bought drinks =DDDDD
slacked at e beach area. great wind.
went to mac til 4plus?

2nd day
ended up sleepin fr an hr, cos we gt woken up at arnd 6?
supposedly to see sunrise. but wht's pt.
it was raining like mad.
so while e rest went fr breakfast. we slept =D
when they came back, we went fr breakfast.
haha. it sucked. e small coffeeshop. eww.
didnt finish my food.

explored the new shopping area at downtown east.
ended up watching e WILD CHILD movie.
e rest were sleeping. so it was just us.
nice movie. your typical teen movie la eh.
back to e chalet. were alone cos e rest went to changi.
walked arnd the area. slackeddd our lives away..

BBQ time. woots.
we tried to start e FIRE. lol.
we succeeded to a certain extent, but stella was e best la.
so ya. BBQ was fun.
esp e eating and talkin crap part.
yupps. probably enjoyed tht e most in e chalet =)

CLIQUE went to e beach again at night.
drank the stuff again. haha.
damn shiok la. nt tht i gt high or whtever.
hmmms.
slacked at mac again.
slept early ! at 2.
cos too tired & pam had work e next day.

last day = TODAY
woke up at 9.
gt ready to leave.
leftttttttttt ! ate at macs.
took e freakin train back to lakesideeee.
damn tired.

onlinedd. cos no one at home =(
met aarthi =)
went to JJC. jaya's birthday.
cut cake al. she was hvin dance prac.
it was nice to see e JJ indians.

chalet really took my mind off things.
it really did. thanks to CLIQUE.
haha. love u guys.
gt to noe shannon too ! & agnes.
nice ppl to hang with. =D

i'm moody all over again.
cnt believe i cried after ONE week.
after trying to be strong.
after telling myself u're so nt worth my tears.
i culdnt help it.
i just culdnt. i dnt understand wht's happening.
all i noe tht , trusting u again is gonna be hard.
really harddd.

this is crap.
it really is. hais.
you are crap. full of it.
i wish you never added me online.
i wish u never liked me.
never talked to me.
never tried to impress me.
never met me.
never loved me.
never kissed me.
never promised to be there fr me.
never promised to ever leave me.
never.

but i can only wish.
cos i can never turn back to e past.

looking forward to e future.
cos this is the last time i'm trusting my heart to anyone.
life shuld get interesting *raises eyebrows*
god. gimme a break. { 6:51 AM }

tday was an INTERESTING day.

met up with 4 of my fave gurls.
chandini, fazee & aisyah =D

went TOWN. chan needed to buy fazee something.
saw tht clown's fren =(
i get reminded of him. all e time.
hais.
this is really gonna be tough.

went to VIVO. cos we were bored.
& the other two were late.

went to WEST COAST PLAZA.
haha. nt bad leh.
alot of FOOD outlets to choose frm.

went to WEST COAST PARK.
met fazee.
sat at mac & jus crapped.

went back to WEST COAST PLAZA.
met aisyah.
slacked at new york,new york.
took pictures.

LOVE MY GURLS ALOT.
cant wait till fazee comes back frm china!
we'll meet again!!!!!!

conf with CLIQUE bout tml on e way back home.
damn, arent we excitedddd.
=)

it was a great day overall.

cant wait fr tml's class chalet !
serious.
get out of e hse & have funnnn !
cant wait.
i shall MIA till friday k.
=D

TIME WILL UNFOLD THE TRUTH.
haha.
i still have a LONG wayyy to go.
cos i'm stil missingg you.
=D

till friday ppl. { 7:53 AM }

HAHA.
life is one hell of e joke.
seriously.
i hear & see all kinds of things bout this situation.
& i've yet to decide if u're lyin or nt.
cos. it's just toooooo complicated dude.
haha. ignore me fr as long as u can.
u cnt do it 4eva =D

so yeah.
today was another slack day.
woke up late.
had an interesting dream though. hmmms.
read book al afternoon.
msia relative came to visit.
ate dinner with them.
& here i am , online !

HAHA. i'm just so annoyeddddd.
really i am.
i feel like a bloodddddddddy fool.
serious.
i think ppl take advantage of me. wayyy too much.
hahaaaa. i'll treat u like a king/queen if i like you.
haaaaaaaaaaa. u all dnt noe wht a BITCH i can be if i hate you.
u'll hate me fr e rest of ur life.
trust me on tht.

haha. dnt play with me ppl.
nt with my kindness or my heart.
&& dnt even lie to me.
esp when it comes to e matters of e heart.

people. are. just. so. dumb.
u think i'm blind ?
i'm not. i have eyes.
i noe wht u're up to. { 7:09 AM }

the weekend is coming to an end.
been five days. haha.
still surviving ppl. still am =D

congrats to me !
had my 2nd meal in 5days.
lunch with brother.
company was much appreciated.

SATURDAY
practically slacked at hm e whole freaking day.
went to je lib with chan.
nice to just get out of e hse & meet up with her.
slacked at jurong too.
thanks fr e concern clown =D

watched vaaranam aayiram.
OMG. surya's body is happening man.
serious. i hope i marry a guy as hot as him.
e movie is quite sad though.. hmms.
we can fall in love more den once ppl =D

onlined till 2.
slept like a log.
my stomach was grumbling like mad all night.

TODAY
surprisingly woke up at 11.
i dreamt bout some guy =)
lol. he had a nice voice though.. hmms.

boring myself to death at hm now.
parents are out.
ppl coming over at night , i think.
hu cares.
just gonna stone my day away.

everything happens fr a reason.
KARMA dude.
there's something called KARMA.
so fr ur own sake, i hope u've nt been lyin to me.

bye ppl =D
{ 12:00 AM }

it's been 3days.
my days have been pretty occupied.
but what's e pt ?
my thoughts are all about him & only him.

THURSDAY
went to sentosa with fazee.
just chilling out & talking at e beach.
it was good.
better den stayin at hm & killing myself with horrible thoughts.
my friends are so sweet.
constant smses, making sure i was fine.
thanks fr e day fazee.
appreciate it.
love yaaaaa.

went online. but he was no whr to be found.
i culdnt sleep.

FRIDAY
i was supposed to go fr my econs re-test ytd.
since i haven studies a single thing after coming back frm THAILAND,
i was ready to hand in a blank paper.
i mean seriously, hw e hell is this paper supposed to help me ?
thought e paper was at 10.
but it was actually at 9.
so i was too late. too bad. nt really affected.
met lingling at JP & talkedddddd.
chan came along.
forced to eat ... went to pizza hut.
1st meal in 3days.
slacked at jurong. talkeddddddd
thanks chan&lingling.

at night. went to yishun to buy tickets fr tht surya movie tml.
didnt feel like eating. so jus sat there watchin my family eat.
went to JP to watch madagascar2 with bro,sha&her bf at 11.30.
i was pretty much stoning throughout..
nice movie though..
culdnt sleep.
onlined till 3plus.

TODAY
parents wedding anniversary.
at least they lasted 18 yrs ...
culdnt even last a yr....

woke up at 8.
culdnt sleep after tht.
watched tv.
showered.
& here i am.

i dunno wht i'm doing in my life now.
serious.
it's difficult to move on.
i dunno.
i really dnt.

where are you ?
u promised you wont disappear frm my life.
so. where are you ? { 12:35 PM }

i cant believe this.

in a flash. it's just over.
it hurts.
it hurts to see u suffering.
i noe u just want me to move on.
but how ?
how am i to move on ?

you didnt even do anything wrong.
anyone in your position wuld have chosen family over gf.
we're too young to rebel against this stuff.
wht hurts more , is seeing you suffer.
you suffer the concequences of just one incident.
i noe u're sorry.
i noe u didnt expect this.
neither of us did.

e chances of a future together are almost zero.
i noe i can always wait fr you.
but will you be ready to accept me back ?
take e risk of getting caught all over again ?

this situation sucks.
it really does.
esp when my heart isnt with me.
it has always been with you.
& it still is.

thanks vanisha, for rushing down to jurong jus to meet me when i called you ytd.
thanks sha, for smsing me constantly to comfort me fr e past few days.
thanks chandini, for meeting me besides your busy scheldule & for comforting me last night.
thanks aarthi, for talking some sense into tht clown & just tryin to help e situation.
thanks clique, for e encouraging smses.

i wuldnt be strong if not fr my girls.
love you guys.

gonna meet fazee now.
gg sentosa.
so sweet of her.

i need distractions ppl.
get me out of my hse k.
later.

i dnt want to forget you. { 10:53 AM }

it's over.
i've lost my drug.
to his father.

it's over.
it really is.

fuck.

i'm alone once again.
screw this world. { 4:21 AM }

i have never experienced being so lost & lonely in my life.
i guess i never truly appreciated your presence.

the withdrawal symptoms are kicking in.
i'm gg mad. insane. crazy.
i cant handle this fr long.
i cant pretend to be ok, when i definately am not.

how long is this gg to last ?
cos i dnt noe hw long i will be able to endure this.
trust me.
my mind. isnt conditioning properly.

worse of all , i dnt noe exactly what happened.
i'm lost.
i dnt noe wht u're gg thru.
are u as stressed out as me ?

god. why does it all have to happen now ?
just when i thought everything wil be alright.

bad timing. really bad timing.
god. do something. { 7:51 AM }

i wish i was back in thailand or that ytd never happened.


can life get any more complicated ? { 9:43 PM }

{ 7:16 AM }

{ 6:41 AM }

{ 4:25 AM }

NO MORE PROJECT WORK.finally.
i'm supposed to be happy. but i'm not.
i'm quite sad tht PW is over.
i like my PW group.
we are all just very different ppl
& it's amazing how we get along.

i'm so proud of us.
we did a great job just now.
trust me. never seen you guys talk tht well b4.
culdnt help smiling at you guys.
=)

need to wake up early tml.
JUST to hand in my I&R.
so dumb.
i need to wake up just to hand in a FREAKING piece of paper.

TODAY WAS FUN.
haha. unexpectedly actually.
clique came over to my condo after my OP.
they wanted to suntan. so i let them.
haha. i cant be suntanning. so i sat near e pool & read my book.
played badminton after that.
finally, went into e SAUNA. damn happening la.
i felt like as though i ran 20rounds. hahaa.
new experience with clique =)
camwhored alot in the toilet. HAHA.
we will do it again ! so fun.
i think u shuld go to mel & lingling blogs fr pictures.
when they update eh.

haha.
i love heroin.
but he's an ass.
always irritating the life out of me.
hmph.

nights ppl. loves. { 8:17 AM }

TAGGED by ms chandini devi.

TAGGING : melissa. pamela. lingling. tracy. lihuan

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 Tag 5 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.

1. Do you have secrets?

yes, i do =)

2. Would you fall in love with a boy younger than you?

haha. i love my heroin & he's older den me. so the answer will be NO.

3. Do you enjoy going to school?

yuppps. i love schooling. besides e exams & stress.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

spend it on myself. den my family. den my friends. and then lastly save the rest in my bank =)

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?

already head over heels in love with her =)

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?

being loved by someone.

7. Ideal boy/girl?

someone who will never make u upset . ( NO SUCH PERSON ! )

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?

move on. so many other fishes in the ocean.

9. List five favourite TV shows.

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES. grey's anatomy. project runway. ANTM.
THE HILLS.

10. Do you have any regrets?

nah. everything happens fr a reason.

11. How would you see yourself in 10 years time?

happily married. great career. loads of money. big house. huge car. NO KIDS yet

12. Who are currently the most important people to you?

family. heroin. closefriends.

13. What kind of person do you think the person that tagged you is?

my bestie cant be described in words. she's just an amazing person.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?

single & rich. i can always marry later.

15. What is your favourite colour?

ORANGE. purple. red. white.

16. Would you give all in a relationship?

yes. i did & stil will.

17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?

none. cos u can only REALLY fall in love with ONE person.

18. Does forever exist?

we dont even live forever.

19. Name three things you would like to do but would never be able to.

1. be a guy.
2. rob a bank.
3. take drugs and get high. LOL.

20. BK Vs LJS. Who's the winner?

LJS dude.

21. If you tried on a pair of shoes, and they fit, and they were the only pair left, but someone magically came to steal them from you on a flying lawnmower... What would you exclaim?

i dnt noe ? just stand there ... speechless.

22. Boys or Girls?

boys. hmms.

23. Would you consider yourself a morally upright person?

yes, i am.

24. If Buzz Lightyear was real, life-sized, and was immortal - How different would this world be?

what kinda dumb qn is this ?

25. Would you have sex with a random stranger?

probably if i'm 35 and still unmarried. i dnt wanna die a virgin.

26. Do you smoke?

nah ahhhh.

27. In the case of an emergency, do you pull the lever, push the button, blow the whistle, light the candle, wish the genie, pull out the finger, break the lock, whack the bean, steal the shoes or destroy the deathstar with a supersonic lightsabre?

destroy the deathstar with a supersonic lightsabre. * rolls eyes * { 8:58 AM }

MY NEW BLOG song.
BEYONCE. if i were boy.
it's meaningful.

If I were a boy, even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning and throw on what I wanted and go
Drink beer with the guys, and chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted and I'd never get confronted for it
Cause they stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy,
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken so they think that I was sleeping alone
I'd put myself first and make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she'd be faithful, waiting for me to come home
To come home

If I were a boy
I think I could understand, oh-oh-oohh-oh
How it feels to love a girl I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

It's a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake, think I'd forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You got it wrong

But you're just a boy
And you don't understand (yea, you don't understand, oh!)
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Because you've taken her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

But you're just a boy { 7:43 AM }

this WEEKEND WAS FUN. haha.

YESTERDAY
went to chandini's hse . deepavali visiting.
with naiimah & fazee.
good food. good company. good times.
sathish,ravi,anand & kumaran joined us much later.
sodi, santhiya & 2 other frens came later.
nothing beats spending time with these dudes.
old frens. people i'm most comfortable with.

supposed to go TOAPAYOH in evening fr visiting.
but was too lazy to travel so far.
so ended up in my aunt's hse at CCK.
was nice talking to my cousin sis.
it's been mths since we had a decent conversation.
it has always been the HI & BYE greetings only.
hope she will join us on tht trip.
it was weird to be in your room. cant wait till you come back bro. the hse seems empty w/o you.
other cousins joined us soon after.
my mind was elsewhere though. . .

only managed to sleep at 4.
watched tv. talked on e fone awhile.
read comics. smsed.
holiday life . .

TODAY
awoken by someone. interestin how he rmbed me.
talked for quite some time.
got ready to meet van at JURONG EAST.
bought chocolates fr selena.
met haresh&jaya . took bus to WCP.
since noone else was there, ate at macs.

soon later,rest came. got ready to light the candles
cos we saw e BIRTHDAY gurl comingg.
suddenly i turned to walk to the other side of e pillar.
&&&& PART OF CAKE GOT SMASHED ON MY SHIRT.
omgggggg. so embarrasinggggg.
esp since it was smashed on my CHEST AREA.
tried to clean it up with water.. EVERYONE WAS LAUGHING AT ME.
paisehhhhhhhhh !
no mood to eat the cake alr. only ate some cos e birthday gurl fed me.
slacked arnd. in mac too.
played at the playgrounddd . haha.
it was fun cos of VAN, haresh, both jayaS , aarthi & her sis.

went to WEST COAST HAWKER CENTRE.
ate. laughed our asses off. fun times.
really enjoyed the company today.
cant wait fr e next outingggg =)))))

next two weeks are gg to be freaking BUSY.
esp frm 10-14 nov.
EVERY SINGLE DAY. damn. so screwed.
scared fr my PW(I&R).
hais.

*rolls eyes*.
CANT wait to meet you so tht i can give u a PIECE of my mind.
ANYTHING tht is done in PERSON has more EFFECT.
cant wait to see you again. cant help missing you either.
HAIS. TASVITA HAS A WEAK HEART, people ...
dont take advantage of it k ? haha. { 5:36 AM }

tttttasvita♥
a.k.a Clown
21st August is tasvita-day!
Jurong Junior College(:

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Aida
Aisyah
Arvind
Chandini
Fazeelah
Joey
Kumaran
Li Huan
Ling Ling
Li Ling
Lithia
Liyana
Lynette
Melissa
Naiimah
Pamela
Sam
Shannon
Tracy
Xing Ying
My past love